Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Happy New Year!


Do you ever ask yourself why did I get out of bed today?
Is this all there is to life? And where the hack I left my car keys?

Don't despair; it's not too late to turn your life around! Well, unless you are really old (like 30); in that case I suggest alcohol. If you are still a useful member society (under 30), I gathered some life tips that without a doubt change your life in such a deep and profound way, you won't even notice!

So with all that said and done, now it's time to seat down, lean back, open your mind, scratch your tummy, cluck like a chicken and read this pearls of wisdom:

1. Every morning smile to your mirror, but why stop there? Smile to your kitchen table, to your living room sofa and to your iron board. Beware, don't smile to your dishwasher it may take it as provocation.

2. Always put your smile on. People will assume you are a crazy person and won't mess with you.

3. Be kind to others, send me money.

4. Live every day like it is your last.Crawl into a corner and cry.

5. Live every day to the fullest. When going to the bathroom take a newspaper!

6. Drinking is not a solution, unless we are talking about alcohol.

7. Better to give, than to receive (true only on case of infections).

8. Clothes don't make the man, but being naked will get you arrested.

9. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer.

10. Remember everybody makes mistakes, and you will have the opportunity to laugh on them.

11. Always follow your dreams; just be sure to check that Pamela Anderson is also on board.

12. Give a man a fish and he might take it the wrong way...

13. Honesty is the best policy, at least that what Pamela always telling me.

14. Time is money.
Stop reading stupid articles!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this!! I'm afraid I'm in the way past alcohol give me the milk of magnesia and theragesic group (late 40's). Thanks for cheering us up and here I thought only we older ones had the problems finding our keys. Wait until you get to your "mature years" and you can't even remember you're looking for keys! LOL

I enjoyed my trip through you Garlic Capital a year ago; my DH & I use garlic alot so we enjoyed ourselves there.
Debbie M. - Mesa, AZ

crazeegirl35 said...

Funny!....

Rose Ann said...

Too funny, Catherine!

Courtney Fowler said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!!!!

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